


i'll find your lips in the streetlights

by AlaskaAustralia



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Heartbreak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:27:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27248791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlaskaAustralia/pseuds/AlaskaAustralia
Summary: The nighttime offers wandering souls the chance for hearts to be bared, unspoken words be out in the open, and healing to become a lived experience. One fateful night inevitably brings two sleepless souls together on a long walk in search for ice cream. The crescent moon is their distant friend, and so are the lampposts that guided them every step of the way.
Relationships: Kim Dahyun/Minatozaki Sana
Comments: 2
Kudos: 61





	i'll find your lips in the streetlights

**Author's Note:**

> Took quite a while, but it's here now - my first fic ever aka my first baby! I'm happy to be dedicating this to the powerful SaiDa couple and all my fellow sprites. Title taken from the timeless Run Away With Me by Carly Rae Jepsen <3 the idea for the title hit me when a friend told me to listen to it in 8D.
> 
> TW for signs of depression and hints of homophobia.

Her hands shook as she took them out. One by one, the small, grey, transparent capsules rolled out onto the counter and stopped, seemingly mocking her.

Daring her.

But she always did go for dare instead of truth, didn’t she?

One hand on the glass of water. The other reaching forward.

That’s when she heard it.

A _click_.

And then a panicked, “ _Joesonghamnida_ — I’m sorry, I should’ve knocked — I — Dahyunnie?”

She saw her puzzled face through the mirror, but the older girl’s gaze wasn’t transfixed on _her_. They both stilled, Dahyun’s expression like a deer caught in the headlights, Sana’s eyes intent on the counter. At what’s scattered _on it_ rather.

She decided to break the silence. With a quiet, stoical voice, no less. What else can she do anyway?

“ _Gwaenchana,_ Sana. It’s okay.” Now their eyes did meet. She felt somehow cornered, as if she just _had_ to confess something. “Melatonin. I, well, I couldn’t go back to sleep, so...”

Sana nodded, unsure, but more awake now.

Then — a lightbulb moment.

Quite literally at that. Dahyun didn’t miss the way that Sana’s eyes lit up.

_Oh no._

“That’s great!” Sana exclaimed cheerfully albeit rather constrainedly. _Sana being Sana_. “Neither could I. Go change. We’re heading out for ice cream.”

Dahyun only blinked back in confusion. Did she hear that right? “I — you wanna get ice cream? With me? At — “ a pause. “2 in the morning?”

Sana smiled, her eyes kind, her head tilted just a little bit. “Nothing we haven’t done before, Dahyunnie,” she said in an audible whisper. Almost reverent. Then her entire mood shifted. “Now go! Change!”

A sense of familiarity overcame her. It always did amaze her how quickly Sana would perk up. Again — _Sana being Sana_. “Don’t forget your mask and cap. You never know when we’ll get recognized.” She winked and turned away.

The dumbfounded Dahyun could only stare at her back side with disbelief. _What just happened_?

Then, almost like she had sensed the sorry state that she left the younger one in, a sweet voice sailed through the still air, effectively snapping her out of her reverie: “Oh, and don’t forget to clean up the counter, Dahyunnie!”

•••

They walked side by side towards the convenience store.

Hands in their pocket.

A timid distance in between them.

They were silent for the most part, but it wasn’t the awkward type at the very least.

(Oh, no, not at all; she was just really panicking deep inside.)

They rounded the corner to where the store stood. Dahyun reached the door first and opened it for Sana. _Like she always did_. Sana obliged with a small smile.

As they drifted by the aisles that they were both fairly acquainted with, Dahyun felt something sink in the pit of her stomach.

Memories of a distant past clouded her mind momentarily.

Memories of an all-too familiar female couple walking the same aisles, shopping together; eyes crinkling, hands locked.

She remembered fond memories of their late-night grocery escapades when either one of them had an ungodly craving. And their volunteer grocery runs when the girls were having a movie night or a party at the dorm. And sharing free samples of pastries even though they could easily ask for one each.

She remembered clotheslines and pins and polaroids and herself shaking her head no. _“You don’t need these.”_

– Only to be attacked by a pout and the prettiest puppy dog eyes she could pull. _“Yes, I do! I need them for the photos in my room!” She cupped Dahyun’s face and then she was soft. “I wanted to hang our photos beside my bed so the last thing I’d see before I sleep are photos of us. Is that so bad, Dahyunnie?”_

Her heart skipped a beat. Just as it did that day. How could she say no to that?

She remembered her tiny squeal and that quick peck on her lips that had her reeling. They were in public. And only past 6! Literally anyone could have seen them –

But the other girl only kissed her again to shush her and whispered, _“The coast is clear.”_

Dahyun had to stop herself there. No point in bringing up something that will ruin this… _thing_ … that they’re doing.

The two now stood side by side in front of the towering ice cream fridge. Sana nudged her then gestured playfully towards a certain tub of dark chocolate ice cream.

It was their favorite. _Her_ , rather.

Dahyun smiled, nodding at Sana. But she was already taking the tub out giddily.

“You seem more excited than me,” Dahyun commented.

“So what if I am?” She laughed heartily.

They were making small talk along an aisle for breads when Sana stopped out of nowhere. “What is it?” Dahyun called back, reversing her steps.

Sana reached for a piece of bread that was encased in plastic. Dahyun recognized it well. “Ooh, Dahyunnie! It’s for you!” She held the bread up to her face. _Cheese pesto_. “I remember when you’d always buy this for breakfast whenever you had the chance! You used to love these so much! Let’s get four...”

As she stood there watching the other girl rush over to the basket of bread that she claimed to be loved by her, Dahyun felt something fill her chest. Something she felt again for the first time in a long while. Something she’d been missing. Oblivious, Sana only excitedly grabbed more of the same bread for the two of them. “Stock,” she said with a wink, one step ahead of what Dahyun was about to say.

Dahyun stepped out from her trance. She could only shake her head.

•••

They were now casually sitting next to each other on the sidewalk outside the store. Arms touching, but almost barely. Sana made sure that they had all the bread warmed, for which Dahyun was grateful. It was chilly out that Dahyun could see the fog-like breaths that she makes with every exhale, but not to the point that it felt numbing.

It tasted like a weekday morning in July. Them sharing an early morning breakfast. Them sitting next to each other on the countertop. Sharing a single steaming cup of coffee (even though they have enough at the dorm for both of them). Just stealing glances and laughing.

It tasted like a late night on a Thursday in the studio. Her being the last to finish up a schedule for that day. And _her_ coming in with a bun and a warm chocolate drink. _Her_ feeding the poor, tired girl and lifting her spirits up to get her through the day. _Her_ staying behind at the shoot to tease her… though she would find out later on that _she_ actually enjoyed watching her.

And now it tasted like a cold Tuesday night in October outside the convenience store. With _them_ enjoying each other’s company. Probably thinking of the same things.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Dahyun swallowed the cheesy bread and glimpsed sideways at the older girl. She offered a small, genuine smile. “Just... reminiscing, I guess. I haven’t had this in a while.”

Sana mirrored her smile. “I was thinking the same thing,” she paused to think. “Remember when we’d go jogging around here and grab breakfast when we just didn’t want to jog anymore?”

“We couldn’t last 30 minutes at first.” They both laughed. “And you were so clumsy!”

“Hmm,” Sana hummed, remembering. “I can’t even count how many times I tripped.” A pause. “You always took care of me though.”

“I didn’t really have a choice,” Dahyun quickly retorted with a straight face. But failed to contain it when Sana looked offended. “Well I enjoyed taking care of you. Especially since you always fed me chocolates after — ow!” She rubbed her arm where Sana hit her. But she was laughing. They both were. “I’m kidding! I’m kidding!”

“Say goodbye to your chocolate on your next birthday,” she quipped with a pout. Dahyun moved in front of the other girl, her trademark playful grin plastered on her face. Sana couldn’t look away. “Yah. What are you doing?”

“Take that back, Sana-ssi.”

Sana bit her cheeks to keep herself from laughing. “And if I don’t?”

Dahyun smiled widely then began tickling her. Sana squealed, unable to hold it in anymore. They ended up laying on the concrete. Sana squirming in resignation. Dahyun towering with a vengeance.

The bell from the store rung. Out came the owner. “Yah! Stop that, you two. You’ll get me in trouble with the cops if you don’t!”

Dahyun quickly got off Sana and pulled her up. They were a mess. _“Joesonghamnida,”_ they said together as they bowed repetitively. The older man just shook his head and shooed them away.

When the man went back in and left them alone, the two girls slowly turned towards each other.

And laughed. Like they haven’t for a long time.

— But Dahyun was immediately cut off when the man’s tomato-red face snapped back to look at them from the inside of the store's glass panel. Probably insulted.

Dahyun’s eyes widened and pulled the still-laughing (though now confused) girl away to run for their lives.

It took them a few blocks before their laughter died down.

•••

A few blocks because – well – Dahyun couldn’t stop mimicking the man’s face – much to Sana’s enjoyment.

Along the moonlit pavement where the fallen leaves crunched below their feet, the two went forth with their mini adventure – still giggling.

“You really should’ve seen him.” Dahyun wiped a tear off the corner of her eyes. “He looked like a tomato that’s about to explode.”

“A ketchup!” Sana squealed in child-like wonder.

She clutched her stomach in laughter, all while holding onto Sana for support. “Did you-did you just —“

“What else do you call it!?” She challenged. “He’s red as a tomato, he’s about to explode, and he’s sour!” Dahyun laughed out loud at her justification. “See?! A ketchup is what he is!”

“ _Araso, araso_ ,” Dahyun said, holding a hand up in defeat. “He’s a ketchup because you say so.”

Suddenly, Sana wasn’t giggling anymore. Dahyun looked back at her only to happen upon a frown. “Do you think Mr. Ketchup will let us back in if we crave for bread again?”

The younger’s eyes could only widen in response.

Then —

The air was filled with the melodies of their combined joy once more.

Her eyes stung from the happy tears. And her stomach felt like it was burning from all the laughter.

She realized, for the second time in a row, that Sana was suddenly not laughing with her any longer.

Instead, the taller girl was observing her thoughtfully.

Dahyun’s breathing steadied to a halt as she asked, “ _De_? Yes? What is it?”

Sana shook her head, seemingly bashful. “Nothing, it’s just...” She paused to mull over her words. “I missed hearing you laugh like that.”

She felt her heart flutter as she watched Sana subtly try to cover her face with her hair.

“Oh,” was all that she could say to that. Dahyun looked down. Now as bashful as the other girl.

She hadn’t even realized that she was still smiling widely.

•••

The pair went on their walk, mindlessly following the pavements and letting their feet take them wherever they wanted to. The night only fell deeper, the crescent moon a constant, distant friend to the two of them.

But it was a beautiful night out. The sound of the crickets was a harmonious addition to the sound of their voices (and was a comfort during times of radio silence). Lampposts stood erect at the sidewalk, emitting a warm glow that made the night feel cozy. And the air was the perfect type of cool – not too cold that they would shiver despite being fully clothed, but not at all hot either that they would worry about the ice cream melting.

Surprisingly, a handful of people accompanied the pair along their walk. Mostly of the same age; students probably. A couple of older ones here and there. Out for a short break. On the search for a strong cup of coffee. Or maybe thinking about life in general.

And the best part about it was that nobody seemed to mind anyone else’s business.

It was like there was a mutual understanding between these wandering souls that that is, after all, their purpose tonight: to wander aimlessly.

It was peaceful.

“Oh!” Sana halted, looking up.

Dahyun stood next to her curiously. She couldn’t help but admire the way the orange-yellow light hit the side of her face and softened her already soft and beautiful features.

She snapped out of it. “ _Wae_? Why? What’s wrong, Sana?”

Trapped in her own thoughts and oblivious to the pale girl’s wonder, Sana went around in a small circle, taking in their surroundings. She stopped, facing a certain street. A glimmer was in her eyes. “Dahyun-ah, do you remember this pathway?” She pointed towards a sidewalk that led towards an uphill path.

_A quaint corner store. A broken light. And the most delicious cheesecake she has ever had the pleasure of eating._

It hit her then. “Sana...”

“It’s our favorite cheesecake!” She transferred the plastic bag to her other hand and held Dahyun’s small one. She pulled the younger girl and led them towards that path. “Come on, Dahyunnie! I missed that place!”

Her heart felt heavy. But she couldn’t let go of the other’s grip. “Sana...”

“It should be around here somewhere,” Sana mused distractedly. Dahyun knew exactly where it was. “Ah! Right...” Her voice grew silent when they stopped. “Here.”

_All too well._

“It’s closed,” Sana thought out loud, her eyes glued to the piece of paper stuck on the brown, wooden door that used to welcome them warmly.

_To all our valued customers,_ Dahyun silently read the words that she had seen before. _We thank you for your patronage and support all these years. But our humble store has come to an end. We hope to see you again soon._

“How long?” Dahyun felt her heart break just hearing the sadness in Sana’s tone.

“Maybe a month now,” she replied.

Sana nodded, still processing the revelation. “And you? How long have you known?”

She kept her gaze fixed at the dull note. “Just as long.” Silence. “Sana... I tried to stop you earlier.”

Sana shook her head and gave a tight-lipped smile. “ _Gwaenchana,_ Dahyun-ah. I was bound to find out sooner or later.”

But Dahyun knew her better than that.

Sana was disappointed.

She knew because it was the same thing that she felt when she had first come across that very piece of paper.

It reminded her of a serendipitous night like this when they chanced upon the small store. Of a single cheesecake once again shared by a pair of giggling girls. Of a once happy memory. Of time lost.

It reminded her of how suddenly things could end when you least expect it and take you by surprise.

It reminded her of parallel stories. A bitter, terrible jest by the universe.

But right now, Dahyun could only focus on Sana.

“Hey,” Dahyun attempted to lighten the mood, squeezing the other’s arm. She nodded at the bag. “We still have ice cream.”

Sana smiled appreciatively and nodded. She watched as the younger girl took her hand warmer and held out her hand for the other to take. Hand warmer shared.

Sana’s smile grew wider as she took her hand. They both averted their gaze.

Because they remember. And wasn’t that just something worth remembering?

•••

A couple of years ago, during one of their idle vacation days when the couple opted to stay behind in their home, Sana had a sudden, bizarre idea to rent bikes at the nearby park.

Ever the one who couldn’t refuse, Dahyun conceded.

They spent that cloudy afternoon around the park – Sana speeding around Dahyun as the latter did her best to maintain her balance. Her childhood did not allow her the luxury to learn how to ride a bike, thank you very much.

And so, she got teased for it.

_“Dahyunnie pabo_ ,” she would say over and over again.

Her competitive self did not allow that, though.

She recalled peddling. And peddling and peddling. Until she caught up to her girl. Until she was almost within her arm’s reach.

But then —

A shriek. The peddles of the bike still revolving. Her arm hurting like hell.

_Dahyunnie pabo._

The memory brought back Sana’s panicked form and her repeated are-you-okays. The girl could _not_ stop fussing over her and looking for bruises or, for the love of god, a fracture.

But she was fine, that much she knew. Except maybe for the growing bruise in her arm and the scolding that she’ll probably get from their managers when they find out.

But still, the view of Sana worrying about her like that was so endearing. She couldn’t help it.

She shut her up.

A kiss in broad daylight.

Out in public.

That rightfully silenced Sana.

_Coast is clear_ , she remembered saying the exact words that the other girl once told her.

Truthfully, though, she wasn’t sure at that time if the coast really was clear.

She just... wanted to.

They went home right after they took back the bikes to the rental place. Sana held onto her arm and cradled it all the way back from the park, to the cab, then up to their bathroom. She took care of her lovingly and kissed the bruise. Then behind prying eyes in the comfort of their designated bathroom, atop the counter with a certain girl sandwiched between her legs, Dahyun reached forward, cupped her face, and ever so gently kissed her as a thank you.

•••

That park was where they decided to settle in to enjoy their long-awaited dessert.

It was completely different from how it looked like in the day, Dahyun thought.

They picked a spot that sloped near the edge that seemed comfortable enough to rest after all the walking that they did. Neither had actually noticed the distance that they covered from the dorm, but when they sat down, they felt their apparently tired legs right away.

Sana stretched her legs in front of her and started massaging her calves. “That must have been the longest I walked this year, so far.”

“So far,” Dahyun agreed. “It felt nice, though.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

The soft sound of the wind against the Han River filled the air.

“So,” Sana began as she scrummaged through the bag. Dahyun quietly anticipated her offer, until – “Oh, shoot.”

“ _Wae?_ What is it?”

Sana took something out from the bag and showed it to her. “I forgot to ask for an extra spoon...”

She wanted to laugh. And she would have if only Sana hadn’t acted genuinely sheepish about it.

So instead she cracked an equally genuine, easy smile. “I don’t mind if you don’t.”

_Nothing we haven’t done before, Dahyunnie._

It was silent, save for the sounds coming from the river and the distant chatter by the few who were with them at a distance that night. Still, though, the unspoken rule stood between them. Tonight, we mind our own businesses. Tonight, we live.

And so they took off their disguises and finally, _finally_ , got to be just them in public.

Dahyun felt like she was actually breathing.

They took turns with the spoon as they overlooked the distant cityscape reflected on the clear waters from where they sat. “How come we’ve never done this before?” Sana broke the silence.

“I guess time never really permitted us.” She hummed. “It’s nice, isn’t it?”

“I’ve never felt freer than I do now,” Sana mused in all honesty. Dahyun had to agree.

She decided to ask the one question that had been bugging her all night. Maybe out of curiosity, or maybe to keep the conversation going? That much she wasn’t sure of. “So why were you still up?”

“Oh!” Sana cried like she hadn’t expected that question. “I did a voice vlive.” She giggled. “There were a lot of questions from Once. They definitely woke me up.”

“Yeah? Like what?” She passed the tub and spoon to Sana.

“The usual,” she replied distractedly. “A lot of shy shy shy, taxi taxi taxi...”

Dahyun giggled. “Classic Sana.”

She smiled, then side-eyed the pale girl. “There were a lot of questions about you too.” Her brows raised in surprise. Sana’s eyes crinkled in response. “Uh-huh. Like where are you, what are you doing...” A pause. “When are we doing a vlive together again...”

She couldn’t help the heat that rushed to her cheeks. _Thank goodness there was ice cream_. She tried to act cool. “And what did you tell them?”

“Ignored,” she said nonchalantly. Dahyun had the nerve to feel offended, but all she got was a laugh from Sana. “I’m kidding! I said okay.” She passed the tub back to Dahyun.

Whose hand was unconsciously reaching for it too.

She watched Sana’s eyes dart to their touching hands. As if they hadn’t held each other’s earlier.

She felt warm. That much she knew. And she liked to think that it was because of the bashful atmosphere in between them. Something about it felt so familiar that she —

She couldn’t help but open her mouth wide to let Sana know that she wanted to be fed. A fleeting hint of surprise passed by her eyes, but Sana eventually let out a soft _tee-hee_ and brought the spoon to her mouth.

“Okay,” Dahyun said after accepting the ice cream.

“Okay?”

“Okay,” she repeated. “Let’s do a vlive one of these days.”

“I’d like that,” Sana affirmed. Dahyun took the spoon from her hand and reciprocated.

But Sana being Sana... of course she would leave a smudge of the ice cream on the side of her cheek.

And Dahyun being Dahyun... didn’t hesitate to wipe it off her with her thumb until she realized that it was too late.

It wasn’t a big deal. At least it wasn’t supposed to be. But the two of them being in that very arrangement after nearly a year of tiptoeing around each other brought back so many memories that kept Dahyun awake at night.

She knew Sana felt the same.

She felt Sana lean into her touch.

She remembered how Sana once told her that she took comfort in the gentleness of her touch.

(Little did she know, so did Dahyun.)

Like in slow motion, Sana closed her eyes, her face contorting every so subtly, as though she was thinking so hard about a single touch.

Dahyun supposed that it was beginning to feel too much.

She began to retract her hand from the softness that was Sana’s face, but Sana was quicker to notice the lack of pressure. She held Dahyun’s hand in hers, a look of betrayal reflected in her eyes.

It made her feel guilty. Though she didn’t know why.

“Dahyun,” Sana called out her name. Almost barely audible. “Dahyun-ah, look at me, please.”

Dahyun couldn’t bear it. The walls that evolved into a fortress were starting to close in on her once more. It was suffocating. She looked everywhere else, just wanting to get away from the walls that seemed to be right beside her ears now, so she started to stand up, freeing her small hand from the other's grasp.

_Fle_ e, her clouded mind commanded her.

“So that’s how it’s going to be again, huh?” She heard the exasperation in Sana’s voice. “You’re just going to leave everything behind without an explanation? You’re just going to bottle it all up and let it consume you? Again?”

Dahyun’s throat constricted at the truth behind Sana’s accusatory words. She’s right. She was a coward, and she had known it for a long while now. Dahyun had no choice but to stay planted right on where she sat.

“It hurts,” Sana continued with a choked sob. “It hurts that you closed yourself off even to me. Me, Dahyun!" Her voice lacked the usual gentleness when she said it. "Me who only wanted to give you all my affection and understanding. Me who understood you when you let me let you go even though all I wanted was for you to fight for us. But you didn’t.

“But, God, I knew how much you wanted to, but still, you didn’t,” she added. “For so long, I wondered what I did wrong for you, for us, to let everything go just like that.” She choked out the question that Dahyun surmised had been running through her mind her for a while now. Sana held her hands again and brought them closer to her lips, planting kisses on her knuckles. The younger girl felt her warm tears traveling down to her own hand.

Her heart plummeted at Sana’s final confession and the break in her voice as she said the words that she’s been holding in for a year now. Dahyun could only sob, not just for what became of her, but what became of them. “I understood you. And even when we weren’t okay after, even when you avoided me and singled me out among all the other girls, I always, always understood you, Dahyunnie,” she confessed into their joined hands. “I understood you even though I never knew what I should be understanding in the first place.” Dahyun closed her eyes, tears seemingly in a freefall. “Nothing’s changed for me, Dahyunnie. Why won’t you let me help you again?”

She let out a few shaky breaths, composing herself. At that moment, she only had one thought, and she knew that it was time to finally put everything out in the open. “I let you go,” Dahyun managed to say. “Because I saw how terribly frightened you had been when you told me that one of our managers knew and told us to break up. And I saw how utterly conflicted you were, Sana. You-you hated the idea, but at the same time you were scared. And I couldn’t blame you!” It was word vomit, that much Dahyun knew. And apparently so did Sana, who now looked at her with knitted eyebrows at the sudden rise in her voice. Still, she continued. “I really, really, never could. So much was on the line, and I couldn’t let you lose any of it, especially the girls...” At the mention of their friends, Sana’s face contorted. She knew. She knew exactly what Dahyun was saying.

She continued. “Even the fans were catching up – it’s easy to pass them off as speculation, but I – at one point I myself got terrified as well, so I tried not to be responsive anymore, especially in public, but,” she held back a sob. “Dammit, it was killing me, and it was killing you too!” She willed herself to calm down as she diverted her attention towards the moon above them. “Then there were comments. About how I don’t love you enough. As much as you love me, they said. And that – “ she looked back again at the flabbergasted girl next to her. “That made me think, Sana. Because you’ve always been the affectionate one, and I never seemed to look like I reciprocated, and it just ate me up inside.” She held Sana’s face with both her hands swiped away at the salty tears. “You never said it loud, _jagiya_ , but I knew. I was dragging both of us down and hurting you in more ways than one.”

She picked a few strands of her stray hair and tucked them both behind ear. Dahyun didn’t miss the recognition of her action in Sana’s brown eyes. It was something she used to do a lot. Along with other things. “I loved you so much, Sana, that I couldn’t bear doing that anymore to you. So I thought… I thought that only way to handle things was to slowly let you go. So I let you let me go.”

Sana remained still, silent tears still failing her, but Dahyun tried to wipe away each one. As if she was erasing all the hurt that she had caused her. After a few more moments of silence, Sana held her hand in place and whispered, “Dahyun, have I ever made me feel like you weren’t enough for me?”

Dahyun became motionless. Sana repeated her question, more clearly this time to get her point across.

She didn’t have to, Dahyun thought. She heard her loud and clear.

Sana’s eyes were boring holes into her own. She recognized the emotion swirling in her deep orbs. Fear. Dahyun shook her head, giving her a comforting smile. “Never,” she finally answered. Sana let out a slow but steady exhale that she thought that Dahyun wouldn’t notice. Relief.

On her part, it was a question that she didn't want to know the answer to. She left it at that.

But the worst was yet to come. She knew that Sana had to know. It was what she deserved at the very least. “But then,” Dahyun said in a soft voice. “My parents found out.” She saw through stinging, blurry eyes the exact moment when the realization hit Sana. Slowly, she brought her hand to cover her mouth, eyes widened in surprise and fear and pity, tears running more freely now. Dahyun gave a tight-lipped smile and a shake of the head. “It was then that I realized that if things got worse, we both had more to lose. I mean, it wasn’t that much of a big deal for me since I already lost more than one person,” she tried to cheer Sana up by poking fun at her own misery. Sana wasn’t having it, so she turned into serious mode again. “Point is, you losing me, a single person, seemed like the better choice than you losing nearly everyone you care about.” With one last swipe on the older girl’s cheeks, she ended the narrative that she kept to herself for so long. “That’s why I couldn’t fight for us, Sana." She sighed, her story finally coming to a close. "I’ll understand if you hate me.”

Sana stayed quiet but kept her gaze fixed on hers. Dahyun could almost hear the myriad of things that the girl before her was probably thinking about at that moment. Her own mind raced through all the thousands of possibilities, all the many ways that Sana could say in response to that.

But not one of those possibilities could have prepared her for what came next.

“I could never hate you, Dahyunnie.”

It was fleeting. It was subtle. It had Dahyun thinking if she just imagined it. But the second time that it happened, the second time that Sana’s eyes flittered from her lips to her eyes, she was sure.

Sana grabbed her by her face and placed her lips on hers. Firmly.

The world seemed to stop around her the very moment she felt Sana’s lips again. All her downcast eyes could see right now was the hoodie that Sana wore and the discarded tub of ice cream that was now tipped over beside them.

But she could feel everything. Her soft but strong hands that held her firmly in place. Her long lashes that tickled the bottom of her eyes. Her lips that now parted and urged the younger girl to respond.

She felt Sana’s grasp slowly slipping away.

So she did the one thing she should have done a long time ago.

She mirrored the action and placed her own hands on the back Sana’s neck, pulling her closer back to her. With all the emotions that she left bottled up deep inside, she closed her eyes and kissed Sana back fervently.

And just like before, Dahyun was reminded of one of the many reasons why she absolutely adored kissing Sana: she tasted like chocolates.

Their lips melded together perfectly like the last two pieces of a puzzle that was left incomplete. She missed it. She missed the feeling of Sana’s soft lips massaging her own, her open kisses leaving her melting with every turn of her head, with every touch. Soon, the kiss was wet, owing to the cascading teardrops that overflowed from both their eyes. But it wasn’t from sadness this time. In contrast, Dahyun felt lighter than she ever did.

They were smiling into the kiss. With each deepening, the two girls expressed into each other the feelings that once lifted them up. For Dahyun, she felt the beginnings of the impending collapse of her fortress; she could almost see the light through the cracks. Because the moment that Dahyun placed her owns hands on her nape, they knew, they both understood.

Neither was going to let go that easily this time.

•••

They took a cab going back to the store where their night had started. All throughout the ride, the two girls were silent, but it was the comfortable type now. Dahyun’s eyes glanced at the locked pair of hands that rested on her thigh, the other’s thumb gliding across the web of her own, hand warmer perfectly sandwiched in between.

Then she shifted her gaze up to the girl next to her and found that she was eyeing their hands as well. Feeling Dahyun’s gaze on her, Sana turned her head to reciprocate. Her eyes immediately softened at the small bundle that was looking at her fondly.

She leaned in and planted a kiss on her forehead. Dahyun’s eyes shut close from the affection and the exhaustion that was brought about by the events of that night. Soon enough, she felt Sana’s hand guiding her head towards her shoulder.

She let sleep take over when Sana’s head rested on hers.

•••

“Hyun.” She heard a soft voice calling. “Hyunnie, we’re here.”

Dahyun opened her eyes and oriented herself to her surroundings. Night-time. Cab. The glow of the store outside their window. Her head on Sana’s shoulder. Sana’s voice rousing her awake.

_Sana._

She sat straight up at the realization.

“Good morning,” Sana softly spoke. “We’re here.”

They exited and thanked the driver after Dahyun insisted on paying and soon continued with their journey back to the dorm – still hand in hand. It had always been like that whenever they, or even the other girls, would go out and take a cab. Always a few blocks away to maintain the privacy of their safe space.

“How are you feeling?” Sana uttered, concerned.

Through her mask, Dahyun gave the older girl a smile. She hoped that her eyes were enough for her. “Better.” Sana accepted.

They were rounding a corner when Dahyun heard Sana gasp. She looked at Sana, inquiring with her eyes, but the other girl gestured to a lamppost that stood a few meters away from them. “Don’t you remember?” Sana was inquisitive, almost disappointed. She pulled on Dahyun’s hand and ran for the streetlight to which she immediately backed herself up against.

Then it clicked.

The way the lamp cast its glow against Sana’s locks, against Sana’s skin. Sana looking down at her ardently, expectantly. Her eyes soft. Glinting with joy.

It was where they had their first kiss.

Dahyun knew that Sana was waiting for the thought to hit her, and as soon as she was satisfied, she took off the smaller girl’s mask, then her glasses, and then her own mask.

Now they looked at each other like they did that night.

Without further ado, Dahyun stepped closer to Sana, one hand on her waist, the other on her cheek. Their breaths visibly intermingled with the other (and she felt them on her lips too). She gazed up into the dark pools of her eyes, and in understanding, Sana nodded, saying _yes, yes, let us relive that night_ , _Dahyunnie_. She wet her lips slightly, and like what her younger self decided to do, she jumped in and took a leap of faith.

The kiss was different from all their previous kisses. It was even different from the ones they shared by the river earlier. It was sweet. It was urgent. It was a conglomeration of all the things that they said and all the things that still need to be said.

It was a new beginning.

Sana pulled her closer by neck; Dahyun pulled her closer by her waist. Their hold on each other was so tight that barely anything could part the two bodies against that streetlight. Dahyun tilted her head slightly and swiped her tongue against Sana’s lips. She let out a soft gasp, which Dahyun took as the invitation she had asked for and crashed her tongue with the other’s. Sana was quick to respond. Their muscles pressed together, their mouths hot against each other… they made them want more, more, _more._

Dahyun pulled away slightly when she felt her lungs starting to give out – but not without planting a chaste kiss on her lips first – and rested her forehead on hers, eyes closed and breathless. She could hear Sana breathing heavily as well. “Dahyunnie.” Her sweet voice rang in her ears. She uttered a low hum, unable to speak. “Let’s go home.”

•••

The couple gently and carefully padded across the dorm and up to Sana’s room, willing themselves to be quiet to not wake anyone up. The night that they shared left them both up in the air on anything and everything that had something to do with the development of this _thing_ between them. Nonetheless, they seemed to fall into an understanding. An unspoken one at that. And now they both reached their destination.

Sana was slowly turning the knob to her room when she paused, leaving the smaller girl perplexed. Dahyun observed how her hand kept releasing and holding on to the handle, as if she was battling with herself. “Sana,” Dahyun gingerly spoke. “Is everything alright?”

Sana turned to face her and then, much to Dahyun’s surprise, kissed her deeply as she opened the door behind her and pulled them both in, all the while not breaking contact.

Once safely inside, Sana pushed Dahyun against the door ever so gently. The latter heard a soft click, but she thought nothing much of it. In her mind, there was only Sana and their heavy pants and her pounding heart that seemed like it was about to explode anytime soon.

Sana pulled away, resting her forehead against her own pale one. “Dahyun-chan,” Sana said in a low tone. Her heart skipped a beat. It had been a long time since Sana called her that. Too long if she was being honest. After a few breaths, she whispered once more in that deep voice: “Sleep with me tonight.”

_Sleep with me tonight._

She peered upwards at Sana immediately. In the dark of her room that was only illuminated by the moonlight that escaped past her blinds, she still saw how Sana looked beautiful with those rose-tinted cheekbones and full-blown pupils.

Her heart continued to pound loudly in her ears.

Dahyun blinked once, twice. She had to make sure she heard the taller girl right. She gulped, trying to find the right words, then: “Do you mean like sleep-sleep o-or... because I didn’t-I don’t want to assume, but – “

She was effectively shut up by Sana’s lips against hers.

Dahyun properly melted.

“You’re gay panicking,” she jested against her still-surprised lips, giggling. Her voice dropped as soon as it came. “Also, yes, I meant _that_.” Dahyun felt her throat run dry.

She put a safe distance in between them and tried to look for any hint of uncertainty in Sana’s features. Instead, she was only met with a kind albeit hopeful smile that sent Dahyun’s mind into a complete whirlwind at a certain realization.

That she was still, completely, undoubtedly, and irrevocably in love with Sana.

Dahyun connected their mouths, hoping against all hope that Sana would understand what she was trying to convey, for words do sometimes fail her, and right now, words fell flat as compared to acting just how much she loves this woman with all her being.

She pushed themselves off the door and placed her hands on her waist as they padded towards the bed. When Sana fell backwards on the softness of her mattress, she fell on top with her, the exploration of mouths and hands never ceasing. Her stomach tensed when she felt Sana’s cold hands come in contact with her skin under her clothes, but soon accepted the feeling and let her lift her hoodie then her shirt overhead. Her sweatpants joined them not too long after.

As she sat on Sana’s lap in only her underwear, she suddenly became too self-aware that she was letting her see all her imperfections, all her vulnerability. That Sana might change her mind soon enough.

But Sana only ran her eyes all over her body as if she was drinking all of her in. She sat up, mimicking the position that Dahyun was in, and placed open-mouthed kisses on her lips and down her neck. Dahyun’s breath hitched when she felt the swipe of her tongue across a pulse point.

Sana pulled back a bit, once again confusing Dahyun. Sana looked at her intently with heavy-lidded eyes and parted lips as she took off her clothes one by one until she was only left in her underwear. Then she reached behind her back and slowly let the straps fall from her shoulders. With one hand, she let it join the pieces of clothing that lay ignored on the carpeted floor and pulled Dahyun down with her.

Dahyun propped herself up on her hands and knees. She honestly never thought that she had seen anything more beautiful. She broke eye contact to bask in the glory that was the love of her life before her, then watched as she likewise removed the cotton fabric that protected her womanhood – all for Dahyun to see.

She met Sana’s eyes once more. Here she was, completely showing herself to Dahyun in all her majestic bareness when, just a few moments ago, she was conflicting with herself, fearful of what Sana would think of her in her vulnerable state.

It was at that moment that she fully commiserated with that one truth: she didn’t have to say anything. Never had to. Not with Sana. _Never with Sana._

Sana really did understand her the most.

With the newfound courage that filled her insides, she, too, followed suit and removed everything else.

She sat there on top of her, now feeling shy, as Sana looked her up and down. But the feeling was soon forgotten when the older girl pulled her back down, skin against skin and their mouths and hands exploring wherever they could once more.

If she had thought before that her heart was going to burst, now she felt like she was about to combust. Her body was on fire. Her lungs were about to give out. But neither couldn’t seem to stop. Or didn’t want to stop.

Until Sana pulled away and held onto her chin. “ _Dahyun-chan,_ ” she spoke, out of breath. She only hummed, trying to capture Sana’s mouth again. But Sana kept her at a small distance. “Look at me, please. There’s something I have to get off my chest first.” Dahyun had no choice but to oblige. She watched Sana take a deep, shaky breath, her eyes now glistening with tears, until she finally opened her mouth to speak the words that would send Dahyun into overdrive. “ _Saranghamnida, Dahyun-chan_.” She ran her trembling hand through her hair. “It’s always been you. You’re the only person I want. I’m willing to fight everything else as long as I have you.”

She felt herself wanting to cry for the umpteenth time that night. She leaned down and poured her heart and soul into Sana, her hair forming a curtain around them. They both whimpered into the kiss, the two girls finally, _finally,_ coming into terms with the understanding that they didn’t have to go through misery alone. She broke the kiss to plant butterfly kisses on her tear-stained face. All the while whispering _saranghae, Sana-chan_ over and over again.

She intertwined their hands as she continued to kiss her all over: her face, her neck, the valley between her chest, the soft mounds and their blessed peaks, the lines along her stomach, her thighs and their insides... then when she came face to face with the very thing that Sana entrusted her with tonight, her throat ran dry. She locked eyes with the woman on propped elbows who watched every move she made, chest rising and falling rapidly, and, seeing her nod in approval, planted an open-mouthed kiss and stroked her tongue on the beautiful creation that somehow presented itself to her.

Sana trembled as she lost composure and fell back on her pillow.

She crawled back to kiss Sana again. Once. Twice. “Are you sure?” Dahyun asked once again.

Sana kissed her back. Dahyun had the dirty thought that Sana had just tasted herself on her lips. Then without breaking eye contact, Sana guided her pale hand back to where it belonged tonight, and whispered, “I’ve never been more sure.”

And so Dahyun let herself go, let themselves melt into every kiss, every touch, and brought them higher, higher, _higher_ into the clouds until they both crashed down hard.

But at least they crashed together.

•••

She ran her hands through Sana’s hair, whose head was resting comfortably on her chest, arms and legs draped across her abdomen. They were still calming themselves down from their most recent high, and now took the time to admire one another, making up for lost time.

Her eyes wandered around Sana’s room until they landed on a certain corner. She audibly gasped. “You kept the photos.”

Sana lifted her head slightly to admire the polaroid clothesline craft that she maintained all this time. Dahyun was more surprised than amazed that Sana never took them down. “I know you can’t see the details in the polaroids, but…” Sana tipped her head slightly so Dahyun was able to see her. “Your photo is still in the middle of it all.”

_That photo_.

The one that Sana candidly took at the very store where they bought the clothesline. The one where Dahyun was busy admiring a plant while Sana held out their hands in front of the camera.

Dahyun felt herself weaken.

“Dahyunnie,” Sana started. “How did you know that the cheesecake store was closed?”

_Oh_. She cleared her throat. “I sometimes go there on bad nights by myself. Just to eat. Maybe… reminisce?”

Sana nodded in understanding. “Speaking of bad nights… How long?” Sana broke the silence as Dahyun pulled the comforter up to cover Sana’s form.

_Ah, the million-dollar question. The very incident that led them to this very moment right here, naked under Sana’s sheets, limbs intermingling._ “Maybe 6 months,” Dahyun replied. “I mean, I was already having trouble sleeping even when we were together – “ she interrupted herself before Sana could react. “Sorry, I didn’t tell you.” The girl on her chest pouted disappointedly. “But after it just – “ she sighed, running a hand through Sana’s hair. “I think it got worse, so I had myself checked.”

“By yourself?” She nodded in response. “And you got diagnosed after?” She remained silent for that one. “And how are you now, really?”

“Well, right now, here with you,” she trailed off, collecting her thoughts to say the things that she really wanted to say. “I feel weightless.”

Sana pecked her lips then followed-up with another question she had been thinking about since that time at the park. “What about your parents?”

Dahyun hummed. It was the one thing that she really did her best to keep from everyone. Especially Sana. But how ironic was it that the very same person that she hid it from ended up finding out before everyone else?

“I haven’t spoken to my dad since,” she whispered sadly. She closed her eyes, compelling herself to forget the atrocious words he had thrown her way. But she decided to spare Sana the specifics. “It was terrible. It was like he became a new person. He... he didn’t feel like the same man who raised me.”

Sana brought her knuckles to her lips and ran her thumb comfortingly. “And your mom? Your brother?”

Dahyun smiled at the mention of those two. “ _Eo_ _mma_ , she... she wasn’t too keen on the idea at first, but she never hated me for it.” Her thoughts raced back to the nights she spent crying underneath her sheets because she couldn’t run to anyone, not even her own mother. Not even Sana. She recalled spending those nights calling their home, but those attempts had always ended up dropped or left unanswered. She recalled how she spent every morning after covering up the dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep and rounds of crying.

Then one day, she received a call from her sobbing mother who apologized over and over and begged her to come back home, an offer that Dahyun had to refuse for everyone’s sake. “She never explicitly said her approval, but I think she couldn’t just let her daughter wander alone like that, you know, parent-less. Like an orphan.” Sana wiped the tear that fell from her face and kissed Dahyun’s forehead.

“I still talk to _eomma_ every now and then. But I don’t want her to feel conflicted between me and my dad, so I don’t reach out as much.” Sana pouted at her. She knew how much Dahyun loved her mother. “Myung-soo, on the other hand, he was supportive. But it’s just kind of hard to talk to him right now because he’s still enlisted.”

She watched Sana frown, her pout forming once more. “How did they even find out?”

Dahyun sighed. It was the string of inevitable questions. “One of our managers told them.”

Sana was quick to catch on. “The same manager I told you about?” Dahyun nodded.

“Oh.” Her frown deepened. Dahyun chuckled at the sight and kissed in between her brows. Sana visibly relaxed. She suddenly realized that she didn’t know that part of the story yet. “Wait, how did _he_ find out?”

“I think maybe he had always suspected,” Sana reflected out loud. “So when the opportunity came, he followed us once when we snuck out from a shoot and then...”

The other girl moved her head to keep Sana on track. “Sana.” She hummed. “I lost you there.”

“Are you sure you want to hear it?”

She heaved a sigh. “Okay. He-he took a photo of us kissing in the garage.” Sana suddenly tensed. “Then later that day, he told me that he knew, and that he would tell both our parents if I didn’t end things.” She brought her hand to her mouth, guilt written all over her face. “Oh, my god. Dahyun, it was my fault. I’m so so sorry…”

Dahyun hushed the girl before she went into hysterics. “Shh, Sana. It wasn’t your fault. It wasn't anybody’s fault.” She kissed her forehead for a good couple of seconds before releasing her hold. “Also, we did end things. Eventually. There’s no point blaming anyone now for what happened.” She saw Sana’s mouth opening to protest, but soon closed it at the look of resignation that Dahyun gave her. “I couldn’t blame him. He was stressed out about a lot of things. Both our careers, for one.” She swallowed the bitterness. “I think he told my parents on that very weekend. And that’s when everything felt real...”

She felt the familiar heaviness, that empty feeling once more starting to consume her. It was something that she wished she could scream at to go away but had instead learned to live with over the past year. “Sana-chan?” She ran her hand along her forearm that rested across her stomach. “ _Joesonghamnida._ I really am sorry for all that I put you through. I pray you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

Sana pushed herself up to peck her lips this time. “I admit I was mad at first. Not just at you, but at me, too, and especially our manager,” she chuckled. “But it’s all in the past now, _jagiya._ Maybe we needed the time off to be more mature. Maybe we needed it to collect ourselves again. I don’t know.” She kissed the corner of her lips. “All I know is that we’re here now, and that we both have the chance to forgive ourselves for the things we feel like we have to forgive ourselves.” She planted another kiss on her lips. Lingering now. “But since we’re airing our apologies, I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to help you through all of that.”

Dahyun shook her head reassuringly and looked Sana straight in the eye. “ _Gomawopta, Sana-chan._ Thank you, but I promise you, none of it was your fault, and I won’t stop telling you that. Ever.”

Sana sighed. Dahyun knew that she expected her answer. “But still...” Sana sat up to fully face Dahyun, the comforter falling from her shoulders (Dahyun blushed at the sight). “I’m all in, Dahyun-chan.”

Her heart fluttered at her words. She closed the space between them. There was absolutely nothing in this world that could describe what she felt for the Japanese girl right then and there.

Sana had to break the kiss. “Promise me, Dahyunnie, that you won’t keep things like that anymore from me.”

Dahyun hated that she looked so helpless sitting there before her. There she was, Sana, who never did fail to care for her, and now she’s the one laying out her heart and soul for Dahyun to take. She didn’t know what she did right to be deserving of such kindness. She smiled sadly. “Chaeyoung was right. You were the only one who truly understood me. _Kamsahamnida, Sana-chan_.”

Sana’s lips twitched ever so slightly but she shook her head to express her dissatisfaction. “Promise me.”

Dahyun nodded. “I promise.”

“Promise me that we’ll let the girls know, too. About everything.” Dahyun visibly tensed at that. She completely forgot about the others. Sana stroked her arm reassuringly. “But only when you’re ready. Don’t worry. I’m not going to force you.” She brushed her lips against her forehead. “But I want you to remember this. You’re not a shell, Dahyunnie. You’re a living, feeling human being. And they care about you just as much. Especially when you take your times off to yourself.”

Sana laid back down on her chest and ran circles along her stomach. Dahyun suddenly felt the urge to address the elephant in the room. “Sana-chan.”

“ _De?_ Yes, Dahyun-chan?”

“What about us?” Sana looked up at her. “Where do we stand?”

Sana took a moment to collect her thoughts. “I guess...” she trailed off a bit. “We’ll be whatever you want us to be, Dahyunnie.”

Now she was the one who was dissatisfied with her answer.

She leaned down to kiss Sana delicately on her lips. “It takes two to form a relationship, _jagiya_.” She intertwined their fingers and placed them on the left side of her chest where she was sure that Sana would be able to feel the pounding that her heart did for her. “My heart is yours.” They kissed. “May we get back together?”

Another kiss. “I thought you’d never ask.” And another. “But I think we have to tell this one to the girls too at least.”

Dahyun nodded in agreement. “Do you think they’ll be surprised?”

Sana had to laugh. “I’ll bet you they’re betting on us.” Then she turned silent. “We’ll have to tell the managers and PD-nim, as well, I think.”

She could only sigh. It was difficult having to deal with all this in a society that looked down on people that went against the standards that only mere human beings set. She couldn’t understand it, hated it, even.

But as she looked down at the girl gazing lovingly up at her, she recalled the words that she said earlier and, somehow, she felt assured. “I’m all in too, Sana-chan.”

They shared a long and lingering kiss that sealed their unspoken promise to just... love. It felt right to Dahyun, somehow.

Sana pulled away. “Wait… did you mention Chaeyoung earlier?”

_Oh right_. “Interesting question,” Dahyun chuckled. “Chaeyoung got it out of me one time after... after...” Sana nodded to say she understood, urging her to go on. “She called me stupid actually.” The older girl looked back at her in an amused surprise. “Chaeyoung... she was the one who made me realize that you’re the one who understood me best. That even though you were sweet to all of us, you had this... look... about you that she said was reserved for me.”

Sana giggled. “How observant.”

“You’re not denying?” She giggled again playfully. “Okay, what about that we’re both stupid for letting too much time pass?”

“That,” Sana began, then crawled on top of her. She looked down at Dahyun with so much love as she scanned her face like it was the most precious thing she’s ever seen. She inched closer and closer to her face until their breaths mixed together in the small distance between them. “Was probably the most honest thing Chaeyoung told you.” Then she kissed Dahyun fully on the mouth and let it stay there. “Mina knows, too, by the way. She saw me crying one time and somehow, she just knew that it was because of us. I used to sleep next to her sometimes on bad nights.” A thought passed in her eyes. “Do you think her and Chaeyoung talk about us?”

Dahyun took a second to internalize what Sana had just implied. Then when their eyes met with that devilish glint, they fell into a fit of laughter that nearly moved Dahyun to tears. “ _Aish_ , those two.”

Sana playfully slapped her arm for cursing but went with laughing again. “Those two,” she repeated, concurring. She glanced at Dahyun who glanced right back, then nuzzled her nose against paler ones.

Dahyun was about to lean back in when she saw flittering movements outside the window. “Sana, look.”

Sana turned her head and gasped. “Is that…”

The younger girl nodded. “First snow,” she whispered in amazement.

She looked down at Sana who was already looking up at her. She couldn’t help the tear that escaped her monolidded eyes. With a contented sigh, she met Sana’s lips halfway and whispered, “ _Saranghaeyo, Sana-chan._ ”

_“Saranghaeyo, Dahyun-chan.”_

•••

They woke up a few hours later to the sunlight peering through Sana’s purple blinds. Letting rationality take over, Dahyun woke Sana up with a kiss and told her she needed to get back to her bed before they got caught by the others.

Before they came clean to them.

The two had agreed to get through their schedules first in the day before they gather everyone after dinner later where the girls would know about their relationship.

The shift in their dynamics was felt everywhere during their schedule. Throughout the day, the two couldn’t keep their glances to themselves or their hands from finding ways to touch the other. Dahyun was also more smiley than she had been the past year. At one point even, Jeongyeon and Jihyo had to corner her to check if she was feeling well.

On two, separate accounts. In one day.

Dahyun likewise didn’t miss the strange looks that Chaeyoung kept throwing her way. Maybe if she had looked more closely, she would have seen the twists and turns in the little girl’s mind that were starting to fall into the right places.

But Dahyun didn’t want to spoil the fun.

Across the room, she saw Sana standing in front of Nayeon, who was supposedly going on and on about something to her, but her eyes met hers immediately. Like she was waiting for her all this time to meet her glances. Dahyun winked, which ended up in Sana giggling.

When she turned her back, she swore she heard Nayeon scream, “Are you blushing!?” Downright exposing her own girlfriend.

_Girlfriend_. _What a surreal thought._

Later in the night when everyone had settled after dinner, Sana looked at Dahyun knowingly, who only nodded in return. She gestured towards the kitchen, silently telling her that she would just be getting chocolates for strength. The taller girl giggled then turned her attention towards to Jihyo to ask her to gather the girls in their common room. No questions asked.

They were confused, Dahyun observed from the refrigerator.

“Dahyun, you coming?” asked Nayeon from the staircase. “Jihyo’s about to round us up in the living room for a meeting.”

She pretended to know nothing. “ _De, unni_ e,” she replied back. “Coming. I’m just getting some chocolates.”

“ _Araso!_ See you upstairs.” Then the eldest girl left her alone in the kitchen where she gathered her thoughts.

This was it. She had to tell herself that it was going to be fine.

_But what if it wasn’t?_

She combed her fingers through her hair as she munched on a single piece of her chocolate bar.

Then she recalled the words that they told each other as a promise last night: _I’m all in_. And that she was, was she not?

She made her way to where the girls were. From the entryway, Dahyun watched the eight girls: some sprawled on the floor, some sitting next to Sana on the couch (that was Mina; Dahyun felt like Mina knew already), and then Sana looked up at her from where she sat and waved at her with a comforting cheeky grin.

Dahyun smiled widely back at her, also to Mina, then with a pounding heart and shallow breaths for what’s about to come next, plopped down right next to the girl she loved and intertwined their hands for everyone in the room to see.

When words failed her, she went for the deed instead.

Dahyun didn’t know what everyone looked like as she buried her face into Sana’s shoulder. All she felt was her soft hand gliding up and down her forearm, dispelling her fears. And the deafening silence.

_God, that silence_.

And then:

“Oh, my God!” That high-pitched scream was from Nayeon.

“Finally!” That was Jihyo.

“Yes!" That one was Chaeyoung. “I’m proud of you, bro!”

“What-when-“ That was Momo.

“I told you they were dating!” Now _that_ was Jeongyeon. “You owe me 50,000 Won!”

What the —

She finally arose from where she was hidden to look at Sana, who just shrugged her shoulders. _Told you so._

Dahyun decided to, at long last, take a peek at the commotion before them.

Nayeon looked properly shocked at the two and disappointed at the same time as she handed the bills to an arrogant Jeongyeon. She glared at Sana with an accusing look, “ _That’s_ why you were blushing earlier!?

Jihyo was left crying like the supportive leader and friend that she was. “I’m so happy for you both. Finally. _Finally_.”

Chaeyoung went in for a bear hug. Mina was already doing the same to Sana. A teary-eyed Momo crawled closer to the two to give Sana a hug all the while whispering the same words, _finally, finally._

Tzuyu was... Tzuyu. If she hadn’t known better, Dahyun would say that Tzuyu was uninterested, but the youngest moved closer to the small group and ruffled Dahyun’s hair lovingly. “I always knew you had the hots for Sana-unnie, unnie.” This caused everyone to laugh – even Jihyo and Momo through their tears.

Then in the midst of all that chaos, Dahyun’s hand never let go of Sana’s. Her eyes travelled from their intertwined hands, up her arms, and lastly, up to her face to meet the honey-colored eyes that were likewise glistening with tears and looking back at her. Only her.

In the midst of all that chaos, Dahyun only saw her too.

And that’s when she knew it: that this, right here, was where her heart truly belonged. And she wouldn’t have it any other way.

• fin •


End file.
